Ella Lauser is a new paradigm sexual health and wellness coach, writer, speaker and energetic healer. But perhaps most importantly she is the sister you probably never had!

At an early age, Ella had the unique opportunity to be a confidant and support system for many people. With wisdom, humor, and openness passed down to her from her bisexual grandma, Ella received a rich education. In 2000 at UC Santa Cruz she began The I Want Sex Club (I.W.S.C.) for students who wanted to talk about sex in a non-judgmental, supportive forum. Shortly thereafter, she graduated with a Sociology B.A. from UCLA, and then went on to teach comprehensive sexual health education to high school classrooms throughout Los Angeles Unified School District.

Now, Ella is finally working on a book that will share her insights on sexuality and in the interim she's offering exclusive private one-on-one coaching packages, providing the perfect space for women to become empowered emotionally and sexually, discovering what they want, how to ask for it and most importantly how to receive it. It's her greatest passion to be of service and offer you the tools, understanding and support to check in and be with what you really are, - amazing and beautiful!

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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Help Too Much Sex! And I Don't Wanna Get Antibiotics!

Question of the Week...

Dearest Ella - 
I've had too much sex!  Help! I can feel a UTI [Urinary Tract/Bladder Infection] coming on I am so not looking forward to going to the doctor and getting antibiotics for this - . damn all the good sex I've been having lately.
I feel tender and it burns a little when I pee already.  I want to be conscious of the chemicals I put into my body so I was wondering if you knew of any home remedies or chemical free treatments? Its not bad, yet... I just know it's going to happen! Help me!!!

~Beth B. in Boston

Dear Beth B.,

Ahh honeymoon cystitis is upon you!  It's so easy for us ladies to get agitated after some serious bumping and grinding... our equipment is so sensitive and unfortunately, the urethra (the tube where we pee) opens out just beneath our clitoris and it is too short of a tube in my opinion.  It doesn't take too long of a walk for bacteria to make its way up and over to the bladder.  Boo!

Well, for you and for the rest of you reading this, I want to reiterate that I am not a licensed gynecological doctor, however I've taught enough sex ed and spent enough time exploring remedies for UTIs (Urinary Tract Infections aka bladder/tubing of bladder ouchiness) to know A LOT about it.  Rest assured, I've got you covered... I've gotten this question for YEARS & I've done at least 20 years of research on this particular arena as I got my first UTI when I was 10 years old (no, I wasn't getting busy with partners yet- just had a bit too much fun with jacuzzi jets LOL).  Now, if that's not raw and real, I don't know what is!  But I digress...

My nursing friends would squawk if I didn't say this, so I'm going to ... UTI symptoms can also be symptoms for sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea so be conscious of that.  I don't know if this is a new partner or if you've had many but it's always a good idea to be aware of.  Gonorrhea tends to have a bit more of a gooey and gorey discharge situation FYI but it can totally be taken care of with antibiotics should that be your situation.
I don't think people realize we're full of bacteria, and it's normal healthy bacteria.  So, ladies, when you get a new partner, their healthy bacteria could raise the eyebrows of your immune system (it's not recognized as yours so it attacks).  It's common to get a little inflamed, don't worry.   Plus, friction is friction- all that hair, skin and heat- ay yay yay!

So what to do if you're ouchie and don't want antibiotics???

I so appreciate your desire to check out other options aside from antibiotics, those babies do a real number on your system.  Our bodies are a lot smarter than we realize and there are herbs and more traditional alternative methods that have been helping us out long before the FDA pharmaceuticals were.  FYI The last time I received antibiotics for a UTI it ended up making it worse (and since then I've used the following which clears up my symptoms within a week or so)...
  • An amazing urinary tract super helper and healer is Uristatin by a company called Thorne.  Take 2x in the AM and 2x in the PM  Click here to order online
  • Oil of Oregano (liquid form in vegetarian capsules), same amount as the Uristatin. It's a natural antibiotic!  Click here to order online
  • Pure natural Cranberry juice (not Oceanwave, you want 100% juice, not flavored sugar water) and lots of water, pee pee pee out what's bothering ya!
  • Cut back on sugar intake (breads, yeasts, vinegars, acidic fruits, white rice, etc.). Your system is on overload already so it helps to pull back on the sweets and acids especially if you want to avoid the oh-not-so-fun yeast infection that is often just a stone's throw away
  • Practice  some good ol' yoga or some kind of physical activity that will cause sweating of toxins from heat building movement

Try that and in two days, you should feel better.  Oh, and if you've not stopped - don't have sex for a few days or gasp, a week (you can do it, I believe in you!).  If your irritation and pain is not decreasing by the end of the week, listen to your body and see a doc but I'd go with an acupuncturist or a Candida cleanse before I'd go to an M.D. Personally, I used Aqua Flora, it transformed my health and  I highly recommend it if you're a chronic UTI/yeast getter.  Click here for more about Aqua Flora

Lastly, I'd like to offer a little bonus love for my ladies, if your mama nor your doc told you, listen up!!!!

Here are five super simple hygiene and happiness tips to help you now and later from the ouch of a UTI (and following them just makes your sex life and your body super stoked):

  1. Drink lots of water, depending on your weight it varies but try for two big bottles a day(about 68 oz). Be green, don't buy water that comes in a plastic bottle.   Mountain Valley Spring water is my favorite!
  2. Wipe front to back when you use the loo.  (Ahem, if you're messing around with the booty, please don't double dip because the front of you doesn't like it.  Wash the penis/finger/toy before moving from front to back or designate one hand for each side).
  3. ALWAYS pee before but especially after sex to clear out anything that might have pushed up into the urethra.
  4. Strengthen your super femme muscles, kegel it up! No, not a bagel- a kegel.  Squeeze when you pee to stop the stream, that's the muscle you use- and do kegel crunches (squeeze and release) like 25-100 a day to do the body good.  You'll love me for this, and so will your partner!
  5. And lastly, squeeze that kegel power when you orgasm so you don't torch your organs with all that heat and energy- bring it back up into your whole body.  Yee haw! 


  1. Dearest Ella - It Worked! It all worked! I am pain free and happily peeing without a care in the world. And... of course, definitely back in the saddle ;) Thank you for the healing, sister!

    with love, Beth B.

  2. girl, you may get them so infrequent that 1 tab of bactrim ds could knock it out quick, they can be pretty miserable

  3. Word, thanks Dr. Deb, sometimes you gotta get the big guns and I'm so happy that in this case with Ms. Beth B, she didn't have to.

    Antibiotics are a last resort but a possibility none-the-less, and I'm grateful there are so many options!

    Beth B- I'm so happy to hear you and your body are happy! Giddee up!